You Do You | Richard Harris, Founder of The Harris Consulting Group

Somewhere past 500 podcast episodes, hosting and guesting combined, and nobody had ever asked Richard Harris what talking about his mental health has cost him. Founder of The Harris Consulting Group, creator of N.E.A.T. Selling and author of The Seller’s Journey, Richard joins Jolie to trace it back to one morning in San Francisco when he woke up in the fetal position and physically could not move. What follows: the phone call to his mom, the sentence that kept him from getting on the plane, 20+ years with the same therapist, and imposter syndrome that shows up live on the recording. His throughline: you do you, and don’t be afraid to make the phone call.

Key Takeaways
• Imposter syndrome as a lifelong companion, and what to say to it in real time.
• The San Francisco morning he woke up in the fetal position and could not move.
• “If I do that, the city wins”: why he stayed, and how he found the therapist he kept for 20+ years.
• Depression described as walking around with 10 pound weights on each leg.
• What staying quiet cost him, and what talking about it has cost him since.
• “I thought only crazy people took medication.”
• Therapy in sprints: some things resolve in a session, some take six weeks.
• Double chair work, literally switching seats to have the conversation with his father.
• Why “whoever speaks first loses” means you asked the wrong question.
• The beer with a friend who said “I don’t know what that feels like,” and why that wasn’t rejection.
• His real cell number, handed out on air, and the reason nobody ever calls.

Timestamps
00:00 Intro and welcome
00:35 What makes you you, beyond the title
03:00 Imposter syndrome, in the room, live
03:19 Anxiety, depression, and “why does anybody want to listen to me?”
05:21 Waiting for the other shoe to drop
07:01 “I’m gonna shut up now”: the phrase he uses in live deals
08:58 No deal closes without a compelling event. Neither does therapy.
09:23 San Francisco: waking up in the fetal position and calling his mom
12:16 Someone inside him pulling a string, holding his heart down
13:56 What staying quiet cost him, and what talking has cost him since
14:20 “I thought only crazy people took medication”
16:36 “I don’t know what I lost, but I think I’ve gained so much”
18:53 Therapy in sprints: some things take a session, some take six weeks
21:21 The box, the duct tape, and the back of the closet
22:00 Double chair work: the conversation with his father
23:47 “The happiest people I know go to therapy”
26:49 “There’s no question you can’t ask me”
27:56 Silence as a learned skill, not an instinct
29:01 Why “whoever speaks first loses” is the wrong game
29:47 The beer with Brian: “I don’t know what that feels like”
33:03 Letting people show up as they are
33:43 Where to find Richard, and his actual cell number

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Links
Richard Harris (LinkedIn): https://www.linkedin.com/in/rharris415
Richard Harris (cell, he means it): 415-596-9149
The Harris Consulting Group: https://theharrisconsultinggroup.com
The Seller’s Journey: https://thesellersjourney.co
Surf and Sales: https://theharrisconsultinggroup.com/surf-and-sales-podcast/
Jolie Shapiro: http://linkedin.com/in/jolieshapiro
Revenue Mind: http://linkedin.com/company/revenuemind